Critics Consensus

The Magnificent Seven Ain't Half Bad, Pardner, but It Ain't Great Neither

Plus, Storks only partially delivers, and Speechless, This Is Us, The Good Place, and Designated Survivor are all Certified Fresh.

by | September 22, 2016 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got a familiar Western septet (The Magnificent Seven, starring Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt) and a flock of spindly animated birds towing precious cargo (Storks, with voice performances from Andy Samberg and Katie Crown). What are the critics saying?


The Magnificent Seven (2016) 64%

It’s hard to escape the law of diminishing returns, but when you’re starting with an original as strong as Akira Kurosawa’s classic Seven Samurai, you can take a few steep tumbles and still end up with acceptable entertainment. That’s the gamble, anyway, that director Antoine Fuqua takes with this weekend’s The Magnificent Seven — a remake of the 1960 John Sturges Western that transplanted Kurosawa’s story from 15th century Japan to Mexico in the 1800s, and yet another retelling of a tale that’s already inspired a slew of pictures over the years, some more faithfully than others. (Battle Beyond the Stars, anyone?) Critics say there’s really no getting around the fact that this Seven has little reason to exist, but it’s still a largely entertaining ride for a couple of crucial reasons: one, Fuqua knows his way around a set piece, and two, watching Denzel Washington lead a Western is mighty satisfying even if the movie around him is something less than the sum of its parts. Don’t expect another classic Samurai adaptation, but if it’s mindless entertainment you’re after, go right ahead and saddle up.


Storks (2016) 66%

Storks flaps forth from the hallowed halls of Warner Bros. Animation boasting a starry cast (including Jennifer Aniston, Andy Samberg, and Ty Burrell) and a rather intriguing premise inspired by the titular birds’ mythical involvement in baby-making. It has a lot of things going for it, in other words — which is why it comes as a disappointment to read reviews describing a run-of-the-mill effort that has all the zany energy and colorful animation audiences expect from modern cartoons, but not enough heart or genuine wit. Like most recent entries in the genre, Storks is competently made and should make for a passable diversion for families in a pinch — but the critics say you’ve seen better and don’t have to look far for better choices.


 

What’s Hot on TV

Speechless: Season 1 (2016) 98%

Speechless speaks to a sensitive topic with a heartfelt lead performance and a fine balance of sensitivity and irreverence.


This Is Us: Season 1 (2016) 92%

Featuring full-tilt heartstring-tugging family drama, This Is Us will provide a suitable surrogate for those who have felt a void in their lives since Parenthood went off the air.


The Good Place: Season 1 (2016) 92%

Kristen Bell and Ted Danson knock it out of the park with supremely entertaining, charming performances in this absurd, clever and whimsical portrayal of the afterlife.


Designated Survivor: Season 1 (2016) 87%

Kiefer Sutherland skillfully delivers the drama in Designated Survivor, a fast-paced, quickly engrossing escapist political action fantasy.


Also Opening This Week In Limited Release

  • The Age of Shadows (2016) , a period thriller from director Jee-woon Kim, is at 100 percent.
  • Closet Monster (2016) , about a teen whose efforts to come to terms with his sexual identity are complicated at home and on the job, is at 91 percent.
  • Honeytrap (2016) , a drama about a girl’s struggles to deal with bullying at her new school, is at 88 percent.
  • Girl Asleep (2016) , about a teenager’s surreal 15th birthday, is at 86 percent.
  • Queen of Katwe (2016) , based on the true story of an Ugandan woman who became an international chess champion, is at 84 percent.
  • The Lovers And The Despot (2016) , a documentary telling the stranger-than-fiction story of South Korean film stars kidnapped by Kim Jong-il, is at 80 percent.
  • Goat (2016) , a college hazing drama starring Nick Jonas, is at 79 percent.
  • My Blind Brother (2016) , an indie comedy about the tense family dynamic between a slacker and his — you guessed it — blind brother, is at 77 percent.
  • Chronic (2016) , starring Tim Roth as a hospice nurse whose personal life needs its own emergency care, is at 76 percent.
  • The Dressmaker (2016) , starring Kate Winslet as a wronged woman who exacts revenge in the Australian outback through couture, is at 52 percent.
  • The Free World (2016) , about an ex-con whose freedom is imperiled by his sense of obligation to a friend in need, is at 43 percent.
  • Beauty And The Beast (La belle et la bête) (2016) , starring Léa Seydoux and Vincent Cassel in yet another version of the oft-adapted tale, is at 18 percent.
  • I.T. (2016) , a techno-thriller about a man whose smart home is used against him, is at 8 percent.

Tag Cloud

Crunchyroll 4/20 Teen Disney Plus 72 Emmy Awards comiccon thriller See It Skip It E! Musical TCA 2017 Walt Disney Pictures emmy awards Rocketman rotten movies we love Elton John tv talk what to watch scary movies children's TV Sony Pictures versus zero dark thirty foreign Peacock Comedy Central Apple TV+ SXSW The Arrangement Lionsgate Holiday Avengers VOD Drama Mystery A24 Arrowverse miniseries Video Games DirecTV ghosts Pop TV Best and Worst Star Wars Infographic Epix ratings Fantasy facebook finale zombie FX superhero BBC America cops Classic Film A&E transformers Character Guide child's play Chernobyl Podcast Western Mary poppins Nat Geo Holidays cars 2017 Thanksgiving Television Academy obituary Freeform historical drama Martial Arts halloween Certified Fresh Captain marvel movie worst Shondaland cancelled TV shows El Rey festivals Comic Book Ovation Cannes nature anthology Summer documentaries IFC OneApp films Animation FOX First Look Music breaking bad Awards Tour talk show die hard blockbuster animated series indiana jones Marathons Heroines ITV USA Network universal monsters Sundance Now RT History renewed TV shows documentary Spectrum Originals reboot Brie Larson HBO Go Amazon Prime Super Bowl kids Writers Guild of America chucky Polls and Games Mary Poppins Returns award winner Lucasfilm cartoon DC streaming service Amazon TCM political drama richard e. Grant all-time Hear Us Out IFC Films crime Extras Action Valentine's Day Hallmark OWN witnail a nightmare on elm street casting Trophy Talk golden globes Cosplay 2016 CW Seed classics theme song Christmas Paramount Pop 21st Century Fox Superheroe Chilling Adventures of Sabrina BET Awards christmas movies GIFs news TIFF psychological thriller spain cancelled television VH1 joker Rom-Com 45 elevated horror Shudder adventure space diversity dark FX on Hulu Binge Guide Toys Television Critics Association Biopics technology Marvel History directors composers Spike Sundance true crime Syfy Calendar stand-up comedy The Walking Dead Schedule DC Universe Sneak Peek Apple TV Plus National Geographic canceled mockumentary American Society of Cinematographers Pirates 007 justice league cancelled TV series GLAAD TCA Hulu Academy Awards Apple GoT Kids & Family Song of Ice and Fire ABC Family vampires Fox News fast and furious TruTV sports WGN 20th Century Fox New York Comic Con natural history Reality Paramount Network travel cinemax sag awards Tarantino zombies satire Amazon Prime Video concert free movies Adult Swim Comedy latino President Film Pride Month Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt unscripted Britbox Mudbound Lifetime Christmas movies disaster Reality Competition Rocky Red Carpet book screen actors guild Sundance TV San Diego Comic-Con Disney+ Disney Plus RT21 Film Festival 24 frames 2018 Endgame spy thriller video Nominations blaxploitation Vudu Lifetime HBO Max Funimation stop motion cancelled biography Nickelodeon doctor who X-Men The Purge Warner Bros. Cartoon Network dceu MTV Anna Paquin Masterpiece Premiere Dates Trivia aliens The CW Country Hallmark Christmas movies sitcom based on movie USA independent harry potter streaming BET Grammys Disney Creative Arts Emmys Box Office Baby Yoda Star Trek BAFTA Discovery Channel stoner Disney streaming service Starz APB crime drama Food Network Rock Marvel Television NYCC MCU Turner Classic Movies The Witch PBS LGBT south america comic singing competition CMT CBS All Access science fiction reviews hispanic franchise docudrama Stephen King PaleyFest Logo movies YA Family jamie lee curtis Watching Series Netflix Christmas movies binge YouTube laika Showtime YouTube Red cooking nbcuniversal HBO Black Mirror 2019 game show VICE dc Netflix Universal Election FXX war Interview robots mutant Tubi Disney Channel TV Land Pixar revenge cults Tumblr Crackle parents E3 Winners slashers critics Countdown comics Bravo Tomatazos Superheroes Esquire best television SDCC social media TV renewals twilight WarnerMedia serial killer hollywood 2015 Awards DGA BBC One Columbia Pictures Emmy Nominations rotten period drama Pet Sematary 71st Emmy Awards Set visit screenings PlayStation canceled TV shows Sci-Fi TCA Winter 2020 quibi comedies anime TNT Turner indie romantic comedy TBS First Reviews boxoffice Fall TV discovery teaser Dark Horse Comics spider-man AMC Oscars spanish language Marvel Studios ESPN CNN BBC Horror Quiz dogs politics cats sequel LGBTQ adaptation game of thrones Spring TV criterion CBS Travel Channel TCA Awards psycho Mindy Kaling Emmys Winter TV Musicals crime thriller asian-american SundanceTV name the review crossover Acorn TV batman TLC green book Ghostbusters video on demand dragons MSNBC Opinion DC Comics Comics on TV 2020 werewolf Year in Review mission: impossible hist medical drama spinoff NBC TV dramedy toy story police drama Ellie Kemper supernatural strong female leads Mary Tyler Moore ABC Black History Month romance Amazon Studios Women's History Month Photos Trailer YouTube Premium